Monday, October 17, 2011

Rachael Harrie's Third Campaigner Challenge


The Honeymoon
"It was nice of your dad to give us this honeymoon in Fiji, but being dropped off this morning on a deserted Island is not exactly what I had in mind," Jill said.

"Hey this wasn't my idea either, but it's certainly better than the plan your synbatec mother had in mind with a Cruise for three!   At least it's beautiful and the sounds of these tropical birds are better than her mouth!" Tom said with a chuckle.

"Okay, so my mom was a little ridiculous with her plan to join us on a Cruise, but at least we could have eaten an array of wonderful food on the buffet that they offered."

"No thanks, I'd rather starve on this Island than be with her tacise attitude."

"Tacise!  What does that even mean?"

"You know her tactics and her precise manner of speech that drive me crazy."

"Okay, so that's like your dad's wastopaneer attitude," she giggled.

"What the heck is that?"

"You know how he runs his words together.  That last time he took us sightseeing, we didn't know he meant we're stopping here!" she laughed out loud.

"Okay, I guess he has his quirks too, but how can you think this Island is boring with the sound of the surf and the smells, I mean, what the heck is that smell?"  Tom looked behind his chair.

Jill also looked behind, "Oh Tom, your tropical bird just made a pile of poop right here!"  She plugged her nose and got up moving her chair.

"Alright, it's not exactly paradise, but we're alone and we do have deli sandwiches and bottled water the hotel packed for us," he said as he took Jill in his arms and gave that crooked smile she loved.

"You're right, at least we are alone."

95 comments:

  1. That was fast! And this was awesome! You nailed everything, and this couple is fun. I've enjoyed every one of your entries in this campaign. Thanks for being a trooper with the rest of us! :)

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  2. I enjoyed it! I loved how you defined the words. Great job Sheri :-)

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  3. Wow, I've only just read Rachael's post and here you are all done and dusted! Loved the use of the made-up words - very funny :)

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  4. Oh I love it!! It's very uplifting :)
    I'm entry #5

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  5. Wow, very sweet and romantic. Not bad for a honeymoon. (Bringing the mother would have been worse.)

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  6. That was sweet. I love the use of the made up words. Great job! :)

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  7. i love how you've made sense of those words! I haven't even tried to add them in mine.
    Funny and witty, well done!

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  8. I love how you told the story through dialog. Great piece!

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  9. So fun! I loved your use of the words. Well done.:)

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  10. You are quick! I think I'm going to take my time this time. Nice job.

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  11. A cruise for three would be horrid! Fun entry :)

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  12. This was so quick Sher, and I love what you did with "wastopaneer"! Great job!
    Mine is #25.

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  13. sounds like the perfect honeymoon!

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  14. What a lovely honeymoon :D And wow, you cranked this out so fast, and hit everything to boot! Awesome work, Sheri!

    It's been such a blast on this campaign.

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  15. This was lots of fun to read. I love their playful banter. Great entry!

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  16. I love the posts with humor. Great job with using those words. :)

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  17. Okay, I have a lot of thanking to do! Lol! I really only wrote mine quickly because I had saved Monday to do that. I have a busy week ahead of me. Okay I'll try & catch up with you all(from VA & we say y'all).

    @David thank you! This one seemed a breeze compared to the last one! Lol! But, I do love the Islands/sand/surf! ; )

    @Christy, the first one just seemed to go in a sentence with a mother-in-law & then it clicked!

    @treelight, thanks!

    @Claire, thanks, I actually hovered over Rachael's site so that I could get it done last night.

    @Jess, thanks, I'll go & check it out after I'm caught up!

    @Sonia, thanks, yes Rachael's pic inspired me & yes ~ No mother-in-laws!

    @Christine,thanks they just seemed to come together.

    @Kerrin, thanks yeah they're crazy!

    @Ruth, thanks, I figured that was the best way to keep it in the *now*

    @Katie, thanks.

    @Bridget, thanks, I needed to get it done last night.

    @Carrie B. thanks!

    @Angela, yes I agree!

    @Jen, thanks! Lol! You wouldn't believe how many times I've heard something like that living in the South! ; )

    @Tara, yes I'd love to go to Fiji!

    @K T, thanks, yes I've had fun too! Love meeting other writers!

    @Kmckendry glad you liked it, thanks!

    @Alynza thanks, yes I love to uplift people! ;)

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  18. Thank you so much for making a entry that made me smile. ;) This couple is so hilarious and optimistic that I can't blame the mother-in-law for wanting to tag along.

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  19. Clever use of those challenge words, and you captured the relationship of the couple very well!

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  20. @Avery, thank you, what a sweet thought!

    @Elizabeth, thank you! ; )

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  21. Sheri, I loved the fun, upbeat humour of this. Certainly flowed through efortlessly. Great job done -super achievement! :)

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  22. Thanks J. A.

    Yikici, thanks Rachael made it easy with choosing a beach scene. ; )

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  23. Fast paced and comical :) Nice work. New follower here, too :)

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  24. I loved the use of "synbatec" in yours!

    Very nice dialog.

    The Write Soil

    Mine is #7.

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  25. It's a very simple idea, written well and I find myself envious of their vacation! Good Job

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  26. Thanks Nick. Thanks for the follow-back too!

    Thanks Dawn, I thought it sounded good with mother-in-law! Lol! I already voted! ;)

    Thanks Mel, yes, I kind of cheated on the simplistic of it! Lol! Yes I agree; would love to be vacationing in Fiji! ;)

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  28. Awwww, everyone's gone dark with this challenge. It's nice to find one entry that is sweet and funny. The horror of a mother-in-law going on the honeymoon had me laughing.

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  29. Thanks Steph, I do see the glass half-full! Lol! Yes, the dreaded mother-in-law! ;)

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  30. LOL @ your use of wastopaneer. That was funny :)

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  31. Hey thanks so much for pointing out that my post was covered. Can I be lame and ask you if it got fixed? I can't tell, on my computer is shows up fine. Thanks so much!

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  32. Thanks Lori! Living here in VA I once heard someone say that they lived in Medzadan??? I asked a friend & they said, "Oh, that's Meadows of Dan." Lol! So I could see someone saying that! ; )

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  33. You're welcome Mel, for some reason I still see it that way.

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  34. Hmm, I don't know what to do. Is it that awards from the tab? or the sidebar? Thanks so much!

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  35. Hey Mel, your post is going beneath the side bar on the right from what I'm seeing.

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  37. Well done! I enjoyed your story, and your use of the words was excellent.

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  38. light, funny, easy to read! Great job!

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  39. teehee, you capture a couples casual bickering perfectly, I shoul know. Hubby and I are like that all the time.

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  40. Three's a crowd LOL! Loved your use of the made-up words. Good job!

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  41. @Elizabeth, thanks, glad you liked it.

    @Fairview thank you!

    @Rachel, thanks, I'm sure some of that comes natural from my own marriage! Lol!

    @Mish thanks, yes don't think that would be such a great vacation!

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  42. Holy cow, your use of the made up words is hilarious! Great entry!

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  43. This was such a fun read! The interaction between the two is so natural.

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  44. Very sweet ending. I liked seeing the relationship of Jill and Tom, a happy couple, in spite of their circumstances, their parents, and even the bird poop. :)

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  45. Great job! This is fabulous. I was really lost in the conversation and they were cracking me up about their parents. Sounds like me and my husband. lol. Great job using the words too!

    Glad I found you through the campaign! I am a new follower!

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  46. @Chipper thanks, yes they do seem happy!

    @Abby thanks, yes they do sound goofy and happy.

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  47. Sheri - nice job and to be the first one posted. Great use of all the words. Great interaction between your characters.

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  48. Thank you Maeve, I had a lot of fun with this one! ; )

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  49. I like what you did with the words, especially "wastopaneer." I can even hear it... wuh stoppin ere.

    I admit, though, it made me thing of the Indian cheese (paneer) and it sadly going to waste.

    If you're so inclined and have not already stopped by, mine is #68.

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  50. Too cute! I really enjoyed this. Realistic conversation and great way to incorporate the words.

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  51. LOL, very cute! Loved your entry. I'm #65, returning your visit:)

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  52. Hey Michael, thanks I did post on yours! Love the Pirate Treasure!

    Thanks Brinda!

    Thanks Isis! Yes, I could only imagine! Lol!

    Thanks Lady Gwen for the comment & the return! ;)

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  53. Great job Sheri! And way to work in those words!
    #74

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  54. Nice work. Mother-in-law on the honeymoon, I think that would have made it a horror story.

    mood (now following)
    Moody Writing
    @mooderino

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  55. LOL! I love your use of the words!!! Cute story!

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  56. Creative use of the made up words :) I enjoyed your story

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  57. Loved your entry! Hope my son's wives don't feel like that about me.lol
    Thanks for your comment on my story about "Growing Up". Clar.

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  58. @Mooderino, Lol! So true! Thanks for the follow & I'm now following you!

    @Tyffani, thanks!

    @Jennifer, thanks!

    @Clarbojan, thanks, yes I hope so about my sons-in-love too! You're welcome! ; )

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  59. Aloha Sheri,

    Great story and I too loved how you figured how to get the the weird ones in with the other 297 words.

    Well done, and mahalo for the follow. Have done the same, and am looking forward to reading some more of your musings!

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  60. I love the dialogue between the characters! :)

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  61. Loved it, got my vote, you are amazing with dialogue.

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  62. Mahalo Mark for the coments & the follow-back. I also look forward to yours, especially any visuals of Hawaii! ; )

    Thank you Golden Eagle! ; )

    Thank you Patient Dreamer! ; )

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  63. Sheri,
    Your story made laugh out loud! The bird poop was priceless. Also liked how you worked the three words into you story.

    Patricia

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  64. Great job, Sheri. Loved how you worked those non-words into the story.

    Thanks for the follow through the writecampaign. Hope to keep in touch after this is all done.

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  65. Cute play on the made up words! I like it! :)

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  66. This really carried me along... I liked the couple's banter and the serious intent, negotiating boundaries around Mothers and fathers. One's parents do not belong on homeymoons!!

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  67. @Patricia, thanks, I thought that would make a good surprise.

    @cleemckenzie, thanks, I hope we do to. I love making new writer friends; who else would understand me! Lol! ; )

    @Jess, thanks!

    @Christine, thanks, I have to agree! Lol! ; )

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  68. Haha! I love how you took the fake words and gave them meaning. Good job :)

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  69. Sounds like a perfect honeymoon, considering the options! Hehe.

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  70. So cute! Love the "surprise" at the end, and how you included and defined the nonsense words. Great job!

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  71. Thanks Michelle!

    Thanks Natz! That's right! Lol!

    Thanks Katy!

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  72. Really enjoyed the dialogue. You made it work without excessive tags, which is always the problem for me!

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  73. Thanks Poewin! I'm learning right along beside all of you! ; )

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  74. funny! I like the humor in your writing Sheri!

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  75. Thanks L. A! I like to make people smile! ; )

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  76. Great way to use those words, making them part of their couple-hood. Lovely.

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  77. Ahaha! I love how you used the fake words. So great!

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  78. Bah hah! I think my dad probably used "Wastopaneer!" a time or two as well, now that I think about it. lol

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  79. Lol! Yes Jes, I can see that my dad probably did too! ; )

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  80. Love the sweet ending and the really original way you worked the words in. I like this couple :-)

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  81. The dialogue was great and I liked how you used the words. :)

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  82. Perfect way to bring those crazy words in. I especially liked wastopaneer.

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  83. Thank you Medeia!

    Thanks Barbara, it was fun to do that!

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  84. Cool story. Loved it. Also wanted to congratulate you on being a winner in the second campaign round. Goo you!

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